Sorry I’ve been quiet for the last couple of weeks. My mind has been elsewhere. It’s been lots of places… this post is going to be a little disjointed. I just have to ramble, get it all out, release the mind.
Unfortunately, my Sister-in-Law passed away from cancer last week. She was 33 and left behind my younger brother and their two children. Sadly, I did not know her at all, despite having been a part of our family for 12 years. I also know little more than the names of the kids. I have been feeling terrible about this. I’ll be heading back to my hometown to see my brother and attempt to bond with my sweet little niece and nephew. It’s my hope that we’ll be able to forge a strong bond despite our distance from each other, but only time will tell. I think they have local Aunts and Uncles from SIL side of the family, but want to be known as “Cool Auntie CBear” and for the kids to know I will always be around for them if they want me to be. Thankfully, my brother and the children have a strong support system in his in-laws’ family. I can’t wait to meet them all. I’ll be leaving my sweet Chaos Twins home with my MIL for a week, and I’ll miss them tons, but I need to do this. My kid brother never tells people when he needs help, so I am going with the assumption that he needs a friendly face and someone to help him with whatever… I don’t know what else to do, so I hope this is the right thing to do.
I have a feeling that things will be quiet around here for a little while to come, but I am going to try to stay connected and keep things updated. There are a couple of little product reviews coming up, pictures from the last Chicago Craft Social, and a recap of companies/products from the Chicago Toy and Game Fair. Also, I’ve got a “Monstrously” wonderful super-secret project on hand, and the first thing I have to do is wind about 40 hanks of Spud-n-Chloe sweater. Thank goodness for my mechanically-aided ball winder!
There is also a new endeavor to share with you! I’ve been invited to be a reporter for CraftCritique.com I’m excited to join this group of super talented ladies, and the fact that they’re local… even better. I will be writing directly for them, but I’ll give shout outs over here whenever a new article I’ve written goes live. So far I’ve got early drafts typed up for the Accuquilt GO!, the YUDU screen printer and a pair of scissors. It’s fun! Anyone have any other suggestions for articles? Let me know and I’ll work on it.
I’d love to do an article on this sweet little piece of machinery. It’s the Huskvarna-Viking Sapphire 835. I had to swing into JoAnn’s yesterday to pick up some supplies for the Yudu and I saw that she was one sale. I’d have enough for her after this Monstrous Super-Secret project is finished. I left her at the store, because honestly, spending your money before you get it just down right stupid. And the money is better spent on paying off student loans, car payments etc. Its a nice machine though. LittleMiss even liked it. The saleslady showed her how to sew a few stitches and she thought it was the BEST.THING.EVER. She always runs away when I fire up old Edna (admittedly, Edna sounds like a freight train pulling through the house compared to that Sapphire). Oh well, I am sure more deals can be found later when finances are better prepared, right?
The other night the children and I were exposed to a woman being all kinds of THE CRAZY while I was trying to pump gas. It was pretty intense, and I think I handled the situation as well as I possibly could of (got back in the car and locked the doors). The words screamed at me if front of my children shook me to the core. Horrible names and attacks on my size. You’d think after all these long 33 years of being made fun of, whispers behind my back, the elevator eyes followed by sneers – you’d think I would be impervious to this kind of shit. The truth is, it will always hurt. And for some reason, having these things screamed at me by a complete stranger made it worse. It’s always been someone I have known, or had to be in a situation with do these things to me. Still, I suck it up and try not to let it hurt me. I’ve tried every diet plan, been to so many doctors, some who just said “meh, you’re just lazy” and others who pushed stimulates. I’m on Weight Watchers again, and even though I am counting the points and being good – I’m not losing weight, gaining in fact. I’m frustrated, I’m scared, I’m angry – all at the same time. I don’t eat poorly. In fact, we eat really healthful foods, very little processed crap. I went to the gym 5 days a week for 2 month straight and did 1 3/4hrs pretty high intensity workouts and didn’t lose a single ounce. Frustrating, to say the least. I’m still wound up by the events of the other night.
Anyway I decided to set a goal for myself. I’ve set a number. If I reach that number, I am buying that machine and not until. I’m not going to say that number out loud, not even to my husband. Of course, I’ve probably just shot myself in the foot for saying that.