Yesterday was my 5 Year Blog-versary, and I had planned to do a week of giveaways and contests in celebration. 5 years and over 500 posts. Wow.
I sat and thought about it last night, and my heart just is not in it right now.
My little Joules (pictured in the back) – the sweet and sassy little FuzzySheep – is not long for this world. We’ve been spending a great deal of time at vets and specialty vets. The final diagnosis is that she has some sort of neurological damage (whether it’s a tumor or an injury we won’t know, I don’t want to put her through the MRI process). From what we can tell, it appears the issue has been ongoing for a while, most likely at the brain stem, and she’s just been able to deal with it until now. Indications point to her whole right side having been numb for maybe even years, and that she may have been blind in her right eye for some time – explaining why she never complained when she somehow lacerated her eye. She’s even broken teeth without seemingly even knowing.
It’s hard to watch. I know she’s still in there. She still does the silly things she’s always done, like try to chase the ball that is 15x bigger than her or attack the water hose whenever I turn it on. She can’t walk well anymore, bonking into everything and anything that’s in her path. Her skin is covered with unexplained scabs and sores, especially around her eyes. She falls face first into her food and water. All the while, not a sound of complaint. Just sad, sad eyes.
I don’t know why I’m telling you all this, really. You all don’t need to hear this, but I need to get it out. I don’t know what to do. I know I am going to have to make a decision sooner rather than later. But when? She doesn’t complain. She still does silly things, and only makes the occasional mess in the house.
I wish she could talk to me. Tell me what’s up…